Bitch Slapped Forward

The children go back to school on Monday.  After the longest summer vacation ever, I can smell it.  The sweet scent of quiet tickles my nostrils and makes me giddy with drunken anticipation.  Occasionally, I even titter.  I want it so bad…and yet I dread it, too.  

The fast-paced, tightly scheduled, crisp days of fall are challenging for me.  This time of year, the end of summer, blows chunks in a special way.  It’s the transition.  I love change.  I suck at transition.  Big time suckage during the transition between summer and fall; warm weather to chilled; happiness to funk.

Funk does not become me, and I’m not talking 1970s R&B, melodic bass line super-groove music.  Funk music definitely suits me.  Why, back in the day, I was known as Slap Bass D to those who recognized my inner funkitude.  But the kind of down-on-life and all those who share life with me kind of funk is definitely unattractive.

Why, the stale nature of this site is evidence of my dispassion.  I can’t face tomorrow. I’m living in yesterday, the summer being a card-carrying member of The Past Club.  But I know I must make the leap lest I fall pray to the doom of Autumnal Malaise. 

I must say my good-byes and move on.

Good-bye beaches and sandcastle subdivisions.

Good-bye days spent poolside with my children.

Good-bye restaurants en route to vacation destinations offering breakfast fare and odd choices of wall art in the Ladies’ Room bound to cause cramping and malodorous gas.

Good-bye water skiing for the first time.

Good-bye tan.  I wore you so very well.  Soon, I shall wear my socks and scarves by day and my electric blanket by night and count the days until summer and I are reunited. Consider me bitch-slapped into the now.  Thanks, me.  I needed that.

4 thoughts on “Bitch Slapped Forward

  1. The changing leaves, the first A from school, Thanksgiving turkey, and of course jack-o-lanterns. Hope that makes your cheek sting a little less.

    1. I appreciate the effort, Scott. There are certainly plenty of happy moments throughout the fall. This time of year feels like I’m getting into an unheated swimming pool on a hot day. I know the best thing to do is jump in, but I can’t get myself to do anything but inch my way slowly and painfully. Eventually, I’ll enjoy the swim, but I’ll suffer a bit before I do.

      Looking forward to sharing all the happy with you along the way.

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  3. I’m with Scott– but hey, your season is your season. We can’t force our autumn ways on you. I have to control myself on the first day school not to scream “yes” and do a lot of obvious fist pumps and victory dances. Summer and I are not on the friendliest terms.

    Love the bathroom art.

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