Blog spurning: a family affair

Rachel: I liked the comment on the last blog about the snake choking on a Pet Rock.

Deborah: You’d like his blog. You should read it.

As we all know, my sister Rachel is not a fan of blogs, and she finds my blog to be especially unpleasant and unnecessary. She reads all of the comments posted in an effort to comprehend what others could possibly be getting out of it, and occasionally she’ll select the link of a clever commenter and compare blogs. Rachel likes to do the required research in order to confirm that my blog is, in fact, the least inspiring of blogs. She phoned me back as soon as she was able to scroll through the afore-mentioned commenter’s blog.

Rachel: You’re right, he’s good. Vikki’s funny, and this outnumbered guy is funny. Makes you wonder…

D: Makes you wonder why I bother because I’m not funny? Why do you hate me?

R: The thing is, Deborah, I think you’re very funny…in person. And I’ve always had the greatest respect for your ability to make people laugh.

D: But the blog sucks.

R: Guess what. Benjamin quoted your blog today.

Benjamin is my brother. He’s 10 years younger than I am; 7 years younger than my sister Rachel. He was our plaything as children, our boy toy if you will. He’s all grown up now, a responsible member of society. Of course, he’ll always be our little brother. The three of us are close, but my sister and I grew up together while my brother was pretty much an only child by the time he could hold a conversation. We’ve all grown closer with age and shared experience; the most significant being the Parental Shunning. Because our parents have severed all ties with each of us, we are committed to each other no matter how different our lives, how quirky our personalities or how much everyone hates Deborah’s blog.

Me, Rachel and Benjamin during a Passover seder. Benjamin doesn’t usually sport the kippah (Yid Lid); not that there’s anything wrong with that!

R: We were on the phone, and he referred to Pet Rocks, and I said, ‘Benjamin, you read her blog?’ And he said, ‘Don’t tell Deborah.’

D: He reads my blog, but he doesn’t want me to know?

R: Yeah, and he mentioned another article he read online, and in the same breath said, ‘See how bored I am?’

D: What is wrong with you people?

R: Aren’t you happy that he reads it?

D: But he doesn’t want me to know he reads it. What’s up with that? He doesn’t have anything nice to say, so he won’t say anything at all?

R: I don’t know. Don’t tell him I told you.

D: It was so nice of you to share that the fact that Benjamin reads the blog in times of lonely desperation. I’m so lucky you’re in my life because every now and then, I really need someone to kick my teeth in. I’m going to blog all of this. I hope you don’t mind.

R: Well if you’re that desperate because you don’t have any other material for your blaaahhhhg….

D: That’s right, I am. And I’m going to write that you said that, too.

16 thoughts on “Blog spurning: a family affair

  1. I think you’re hilarious. I know I’m not your sister but still. I love your blog and your siblings are great blog fodder 🙂

    That said, I have to be honest. I’m now worried that Rachel’s affection may switch from my blog to that other guy’s blog. I might have to take him out.

  2. vikki, i quote: “tell her she has nothing to worry about. and p.s. her daughter looks like a beautiful princess in her new dress.”

    and thank you. after a few conversations with rachel, i sure do appreciate a pat on the back.

  3. kim, i am deee-lighted that you deee-lurked for just a mo. it’s not that i’m fishing for compliments (though i thank you kindly), and it’s not that i need the lurkers to out themselves, but i do love me a good blog! i’ve only scratched the surface, but i’ll be diving in now that you’ve allowed me to discover you and your traveling crew!!

    see you there!

  4. Well, I think the blog is hysterical, Deborah. Probably in part because I know some of the parties involved. AND I think you do a good job keeping the postings just the right length. Not so short as to be nonsensical to all but your intimates, and not so long as to be boring. I think that there is a collection of short stories in you somewhere that is just busting to get out.

    I have to admit though that Rachel is better on Facebook.

  5. I think we should all go to dinner at the Outback Steakhouse and talk about how not funny we all are. That would be sweet. We could have those 20 oz Fosters and a Bloomin’ Onion. Wait. What did I want to say? Shit I forgot. Whatever. Good Yontif!

  6. After some 20 oz Fosters, I’m sure we’ll agree that we’re the funniest bloggers the Outback has ever seen! Game on!!

    Welcome, Melissa! Congratulations on your spanking new blog and all the good things that have come your way. Lots of us Jewish, gay moms in the blogosphere. I’m still with my lady-friend (though she might disagree given the amount of time I spend on the computer), but you’ll find the singletons out here.

  7. i almost never comment, but i want you to know that yours is one of only four blogs that i check every day. love your posts. my only complaint is that you don’t post often enough!

    interestingly, though, i have trouble reading my own brother’s blog. i love him dearly, but sometimes he’s a little more serious than i like in a blog. but probably it’s just because i’m his sister and i already know him so well that reading the blog isn’t that useful to me.

    maybe that’s what is going on with your brother and sister?

  8. Hey! I just found you through a friends blog and my state (Maine) just passed a law that allows marriage equality…I am single now but it makes me happy that maybe someday!

    Anyway…take care!

  9. shane, thanks so much for the nod. re: 3 girls…oy! of course, they’ll probably and hopefully be the best of friends one day. good luck!!

    lkopperman, one comment from you is like 20 comments all shmooshed together. you shoot from the hip, and i have always appreciated that about you. thank you so much. great insight, by the way. it makes total sense that they’d find the blog redundant and boring knowing me as they do. i’m going to tune in to your brother’s site. thanks for the link!

    welcome, michelle!! hats off to maine. looking forward to hearing about your bride-to-be…some day.

  10. I love the picture of you with your sibs. Did you guys dress you brother up like a girl and make him be your doll? Adam’s sisters did. His name was Emily.

    I think I’ve mentioned that my Mom hates my writing style. But she does read — and even occassionally comment on — my blog. My SIL on the other hand … so the other day I was about to tell her a story, but not wanting to bore her if she’d already read it, I said something along the lines of “I don’t know if you read the blog …” at which point she cut me off and said sarcastically, “Oh yes, I read it all the time.”


  11. Ouch! What is up with that? I’m thinking of some names for her, but I don’t want to post them in case she reads my blog…ALL the time, too.

    We didn’t dress him up, but we did play a game we called “roll the baby”, but he prefers that we not remind him. ….oops. Emily? HA!

  12. I am just getting to this months later! You’re SO FUNNY! I love this — the tone is incredibly complicated (in a good way). Very post modern, Deborah! 🙂

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