Rachel: I liked the comment on the last blog about the snake choking on a Pet Rock.
Deborah: You’d like his blog. You should read it.
As we all know, my sister Rachel is not a fan of blogs, and she finds my blog to be especially unpleasant and unnecessary. She reads all of the comments posted in an effort to comprehend what others could possibly be getting out of it, and occasionally she’ll select the link of a clever commenter and compare blogs. Rachel likes to do the required research in order to confirm that my blog is, in fact, the least inspiring of blogs. She phoned me back as soon as she was able to scroll through the afore-mentioned commenter’s blog.
D: Makes you wonder why I bother because I’m not funny? Why do you hate me?
R: The thing is, Deborah, I think you’re very funny…in person. And I’ve always had the greatest respect for your ability to make people laugh.
D: But the blog sucks.
R: Guess what. Benjamin quoted your blog today.
Benjamin is my brother. He’s 10 years younger than I am; 7 years younger than my sister Rachel. He was our plaything as children, our boy toy if you will. He’s all grown up now, a responsible member of society. Of course, he’ll always be our little brother. The three of us are close, but my sister and I grew up together while my brother was pretty much an only child by the time he could hold a conversation. We’ve all grown closer with age and shared experience; the most significant being the Parental Shunning. Because our parents have severed all ties with each of us, we are committed to each other no matter how different our lives, how quirky our personalities or how much everyone hates Deborah’s blog.
Me, Rachel and Benjamin during a Passover seder. Benjamin doesn’t usually sport the kippah (Yid Lid); not that there’s anything wrong with that!
R: We were on the phone, and he referred to Pet Rocks, and I said, ‘Benjamin, you read her blog?’ And he said, ‘Don’t tell Deborah.’
D: He reads my blog, but he doesn’t want me to know?
R: Yeah, and he mentioned another article he read online, and in the same breath said, ‘See how bored I am?’
D: What is wrong with you people?
R: Aren’t you happy that he reads it?
D: But he doesn’t want me to know he reads it. What’s up with that? He doesn’t have anything nice to say, so he won’t say anything at all?
R: I don’t know. Don’t tell him I told you.
D: It was so nice of you to share that the fact that Benjamin reads the blog in times of lonely desperation. I’m so lucky you’re in my life because every now and then, I really need someone to kick my teeth in. I’m going to blog all of this. I hope you don’t mind.
R: Well if you’re that desperate because you don’t have any other material for your blaaahhhhg….
D: That’s right, I am. And I’m going to write that you said that, too.