This summer wasn’t my favorite weather-wise. It started out pretty wet, and these dog-days of summer have not really been so doggish. Yet, it has been a paradise compared to London. Cool and rainy all the time. How depressing! One thing I don’t miss about London is the lack of any kind of summer whatsoever. I recall our first taxi ride in London. The cabbie turned to us and said, “Welcome to London! Do you know what the difference is here between winter and summer in London? In the summer, the rain is warm.” We laughed then not knowing how right he was. We moved there in July of ’99, and they were experiencing an unusually warm summer. It was all downhill from there.
It wasn’t until we moved back that I could really enjoy a proper summer—shorts, flip-flops, blousy tank tops, the pool, the beach, etc. But you know what made all of those things even more fantastic? Laser hair removal! Here comes the blog-o-mercial. That’s right folks, legs, underarms, bikini-all zapped by the laser. Razors begone! Waxing days are over! I am hair-free, and it feels good.
Now you probably can’t appreciate how liberated I feel unless you are blessed with hirsute genes as I was. My father is of Eastern European descent and probably scores an 8 in the 1 to 10 hairy scale. My mother, on the other hand, is a blue-eyed, blonde who forbade me from shaving my legs when I was in middle school because she had no idea how tough it was to be a scrawny, glasses-wearing, awkward AND hairy pubescent. This is the same woman who told me I couldn’t use tampons until after I was married. Did I just make anyone uncomfortable talking about tampons? I won’t apologize, of course, but I will acknowledge the subject of tampons does make some people uncomfortable.
There are two things that I have done in my adult life to try to erase a few of the many scars of my youth. I have an obscene number of high-fashion, expensive glasses, for one. When I was 9, there were no such things as fashionable glasses for kids. Or maybe there were, but my mother would stand me in front of the sale rack and explain that my prescription was going to change over time, so we couldn’t spend a lot of money on a singular pair of glasses. So ugly. So unflattering. Traumatizing.
And, I forked over a pretty penny to laser my body and rid myself of the hair that bound me to bleaching, shaving and waxing forever. Free at last! Do you know how much time and water I save in the shower now that I don’t have to shave? I’m practically Green!
While my children are likely to suffer many cruelties of nature and society, I can at least protect them from the evils of bad eyewear and simian body hair. Glasses are stylish these days, so I’m not too concerned. But my boys are already showing early signs of back hair. It may not bother them in the least, but if it does, Mom is marching them right to the spa at the age of 16 and giving them a new lease on life. It’s the least I can do. And if you are like me – hairy AND lazy – you’ll look into laser hair removal for yourself, too. You’ll thank me for it.