The Foxy Merkins Teachable Moment

I give when I can, and there are definitely certain causes and projects that inspire me to give more than others. I could not resist the call to donate to filmmakers of Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same and their new film,… Read moreThe Foxy Merkins Teachable Moment

14 Cents a Story on Scary Mommy’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays

Sometimes I want to quit Facebook. Actually, many times I want to leave Facebook. I don’t blame Facebook for my Facebook malaise, however. My dissatisfaction lies within myself. I am unable to manage my time well, and I am prone… Read more14 Cents a Story on Scary Mommy’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays

Dangle Your Button, and I will ASK

ASK? You want me to ASK? You know that when you post your profile on Facebook, you don’t HAVE to display any of your details. If you don’t want anyone to know that you went to Antelope Valley College (actual… Read moreDangle Your Button, and I will ASK

The House of Épée

It’s possible I was just as excited about Asher’s first fencing lesson as he was. We had been talking about taking classes for over a year, but I held out to make sure that he was really interested and not… Read moreThe House of Épée

Lessons Joan Rivers Taught Me

My parents were the Jewish Cleavers, practically scripted in their wholesomeness. I guess that would make me Wally as I am the oldest child, but I’m sure no one would be surprised by my penchant for the Beaver. Mom stayed… Read moreLessons Joan Rivers Taught Me

My Vagina Wants to Get High

If you live in California, and you happen to have a doctor who can prescribe medical marijuana, I would please like to speak with you off-line about a product sold only in your fair state called Foria. For those of… Read moreMy Vagina Wants to Get High

Ode to Laundresses

Gabriella: Did you wash my white pants? Deborah: Since last weekend? Gabriella: Yes. Deborah: Let me describe to you my laundering schedule. Gabriella: I just asked if you washed them. Deborah: I wash all the clothes on the weekends if… Read moreOde to Laundresses

Conquering Fears One Rung at a Time

And then I took the gift cards that I received from the parents at my preschool after saving them for the perfect treat for myself and put them all towards a futon mattress for Levi’s new bunk bed. Last year,… Read moreConquering Fears One Rung at a Time

The Tooth Fairy Eats What?

Levi lost his fifth tooth, his lateral incisor. That, in itself, is relatively insignificant considering current events across the world. I bring it up because in preparing for the inevitable loss, Levi had plenty of time to consider the note… Read moreThe Tooth Fairy Eats What?

Life Lessons from my Powder Room

The other day, I unearthed an old lipstick – like Y1K old. It was a MAC lipstick called Gleam, and it was the perfect shade of shimmery brownish plum that had summery fun written all over it. The lipstick itself… Read moreLife Lessons from my Powder Room