Still spinning from The LEGO® Movie

Flashback. Disney. 2011.

It was a rainy day in Orlando, we took the boys to DisneyQuest® Indoor Interactive Theme Park where we figured we’d all lose ourselves in the futuristic, Jetsonian fantasy playground. We would spend the day gaming in a virtual world for the fee of 180 non-virtual dollars. Two minutes flying around Agrabah on Aladdin’s magic carpet ride, I had to rip off the 3D glasses, and find a bench to sit on in the real world where I could take deep breaths, close my eyes and will the room to stop spinning. I was not quite right for about 2 hours.

Flash forward to last week. Movie theater. Gravity.

Spoiler alert, Sandra Bullock spends a considerable amount of time in space. Her legs are also…out of this world.

PHOTO CREDIT: GOT CELEB
PHOTO CREDIT: GOT CELEB

Early on in the film, Sandra is attached to an arm-like beam of a spacecraft as it is sent spinning around in super fast circles. When she finally detaches herself from the arm beam, she somersaults for what feels like 10 minutes but was probably about 20 seconds, and we’re spinning with her in an all-too-real 3D experience, and I want to shout, “UNCLE!!  STOP IT! LEMME DOWN!!”

Remember that game, airplane? That’s the game where someone held on to your hand and your ankle and spun you around while you laughed and screamed and almost cried? I could vomit just thinking about it. Sandra is spinning, and I want it to stop. The rest of the film was less dizzying, but I never quite recuperated.

At the end of the movie, I took off my 3D glasses and swayed towards the aisle. I had space-legs, which I just made up, but I’m going to assume is a thing. My head was heavy and swirly as if I had something akin to a wine headache.

I would not learn.

Flash forward to present day.

The boys wanted to see The LEGO® Movie and they wanted to see it in 3D. And so we did because we are good parents, good parents who may have neglected to plan anything else for this Saturday.

PHOTO CREDIT: DEBORAH GOLDSTEIN
PHOTO CREDIT: DEBORAH GOLDSTEIN

When the movie started, I was fully prepared to spend 100 minutes NOT watching. I would consider my To Do list or even close my eyes for a wee nap if only to avoid the 3D experience.

But I was drawn in.

A LEGO® man named Emmet (Hebrew for truth, by the way) becomes an unintentional hero once he is identified as the “Special,” the one who will save the LEGO® world from destruction. Emmet learns to value independence and thinking outside of the box. He saves the day when he is able to mobilize other independent, out-of-box thinkers to work as a team. And then there’s some sweet father/son stuff thrown in for good measure, some cute gags and a Tegan & Sara song that is permanently embedded in my brain.

After the movie, I asked Asher, “What was the message of the movie?”

“To believe in yourself,” he answered, “because everyone is special.”

He was correct – about the message – not necessarily about its truth. It could be that everyone has an inflated sense and will never come to terms with how unspecial they are because of movies like this.

Sometimes, you believe you’re special when you perform well on your standardized tests and when you get a good job through connections you made at your name-brand school. But in actuality, you’re simply good enough to work for someone else who is far more special than you. Not everyone is special. Some people are douchebags. Also, some of my happiest memories occurred inside the box… But for the purposes of lifting our children up and convincing them they can walk on water if they just believe, the message was sweet.

PHOTO CREDIT: RETRONAUT
PHOTO CREDIT: RETRONAUT

Flashback. I’m on the Rotor Ride at the amusement park for the 3rd time in a row. It will be my last time not because I am feeling the nauseating effects of centrifugal force but because the initial pleasurable sensation of the jeans riding up my crotch when the floor drops out from beneath me is now starting to become an irritation.  This is my favorite ride at the amusement park  (because of the sensation of floating as opposed to the camel toe). Now, I whimper at the thought of it (because of the spinning as opposed to the camel toe).

Flash forward to the present.

7 hours later, the world is still swaying. That song is still repeating. And I want to see that movie all over again – in 2D.

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